Valentine’s Day Filled With Mixed Emotions

By Miki Makrillos, MD

Valentine’s Day, a holiday traditionally about love and romance has been slowly evolving into a holiday filled with mixed emotions, unmet expectations, and miscommunication between many individuals. Men and women have always struggled with communicating and understanding each others’ wants and needs. There are myths and reality of what men and women truly desire for Valentine’s Day.

Men feel women are more about expensive gifts and being wined and dined in posh, upscale restaurants. In reality, most women prefer to be heard, listened to, and have a mutual sharing of thoughts with their partner. They would rather receive a thoughtful gift that represents who they are, instead of a last minute item.

Women would like little acts of romance throughout their day, such as little love notes and forget me nots. Passion is primal! Sex, desire, and intimacy are things all women want in their relationships. Lastly, women seek a “real connection” with their partner. They want to share their “lives” together. Real connection comes from sharing interests, hobbies, dreams, and passions. True intimacy happens in the smallest moments of sharing disappointments, fears, hopes, dreams, and our deepest desires, knowing we are safe and loved.

Valentine’s Day is about love, not just couples. Single women can make it positive and meaningful too! Single women don’t have to be lonely and miserable on Valentine’s Day. Learning to love your “self” and self-acceptance are key to making this day special. Sharing love with friends and family can be very rewarding. Give yourself a new experience, sign up for a fitness or yoga class, or go to the spa, which can help relieve anxiety and tension. Plan a girls’ night out with other single friends, or attend singles events. Treat yourself to some shopping and buy yourself a Valentine’s gift. Maintaining a positive attitude and outlook may leave you with positive energy on this Valentine’s Day!

Please share with us what are your thoughts on Valentine’s Day expectations, and what exactly does self-love mean to you? What is something you do to care for yourself?

Editor’s note: Dr. Miki Makrillos is a clinical psychotherapist and founder of

Here are some Valentine’s fun facts:

Percent of Valentine’s Day cards bought by women - 85%
Percent of flowers bought by men - 73%
Percent of women who send themselves flowers - 14%
Amount the average consumer spends on Valentine’s Day - $116.21
Percent of consumers who celebrate Valentine’s Day - 61.8 %
Percent of women who would end their relationship if they didn’t get something for Valentines day - 53 %
Average number of children conceived on Valentine’s Day - 11,000

Gifts Most Often Given on Valentines Day:

Candy 47.5 %
Flowers 34.3 %
Cards 52.1 %
Jewelry 17.3 %
Dining/Eating Out 34.6 %
Clothing 14.4 %
Gift Cards 12.6 %
Other Gifts 11.2 %