BROOKLYN JOE TORRE: BEHIND THE PINSTRIPES

By Anthony Rapacciuolo | Photography by Annie Watt

Ask someone from the Big Apple, or from almost anywhere in the world for that matter, what comes to mind when they think of New York. In fact, go ahead and ask yourself right now, you know you already did after reading that last sentence anyway. Maybe you’re thinking the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building or perhaps Central Park, but I’d venture to guess that within your top five will be either baseball or even more specifically, the New York Yankees. Over the past few decades, the Bronx Bombers have transcended both sport and athlete to become a globally recognizable brand synonymous with the city that never sleeps.

New York Lifestyles Magazine had the privilege of speaking with Hall of Famer, Joe Torre, and his wife who rarely did sleep while he managed a Yankee Organization that won six American League Pennants, ten American League East Division Titles and four World Series Titles from 1996 to 2007. Believe it or not, however, our discussion didn’t focus on his legendary career or even baseball for that matter. We were given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to talk about the man behind the pinstripes. A man, who with the help of his wife and partner Ali, was able to transform a childhood riddled with mental and emotional abuse into the Safe at Home Foundation, a national non-profit focused on dealing with domestic violence.

The organization currently has what they have named Margaret’s Place or “safe rooms,” in honor of Joe’s mother, in 11 schools across the country including New Jersey, California, and New York. Its focus is on educating adolescents about domestic violence and offering them a place where they can feel safe to talk about the issues they may be facing at home. Since its inception in 2002, more than 55,000 students across the country have received assistance with domestic violence related issues.

The following piece is nothing short of inspirational, and I encourage our readers to visit the foundation’s website at JoeTorre.org after reading the story, to learn more and pledge your support during this season of giving.

Tell our readers about the inspiration behind the Safe at Home Foundation.

Joe: My father was a New York City policeman, and I grew up in a very abusive household. While I was never physically abused, I felt the effects of my dad abusing my mom both physically and verbally. With my dad, it was always about control. I honestly thought I was born with an inner nervousness, fear, and low self-esteem, so I just dealt with these feelings as though they were normal. I didn’t have any confidence in myself, and matter of fact, I didn’t even try out for my high school baseball team because I didn’t think I was good enough.

It wasn’t until I was fired from the Cardinals in 1995, which was the third team that had fired me, that I realized something was wrong. My wife Ali was eight months pregnant with our daughter and asked me to join her at a four-day self-help symposium called Life Success. It was very easy to say yes to my then pregnant wife, even though it was something I knew nothing about. On day three of the symposium, I found myself sharing with complete strangers and crying my eyes out. That was the turning point when I realized that I wasn’t born with these inadequacies, but that it was created by the fear that my dad brought to the house when I was growing up as a child. That was the revelation which inspired me to focus on domestic violence issues. I also felt I wanted to do something in my mom’s name because of what she endured. She was always there for her children, I am the youngest of five, and the price she paid was pretty steep. That’s the inspiration behind the Safe at Home Foundation and our safe rooms within schools which we call Margaret’s Place.

Describe the Foundation’s programs and initiatives, specifically Margaret’s Place.

Ultimately it was Ali’s decision to have the Foundation focus on education rather than being a care provider, and I’ll let her speak about our programs and focus.

Ali: We learned through months and months of research, that there were very few programs or resources available for children dealing with domestic violence issues. When kids and families are dealing with abuse issues at home, many times it’s kept a secret, and people feel alone. We began our campaign entirely grassroots by going into a school in the Bronx and implementing our program. We created a safe space called Margaret’s Place, in honor of Joe’s mother, which is casual and welcoming environment open to everyone in the school. After evaluating and tweaking the program, we found that we were getting tremendous feedback both from school leadership and the students.

It has since grown and now consists of a peer leadership component run by a Masters Level Counselor trained in domestic violence intervention and prevention, a curriculum within the school, and we also run four school wide campaigns a year to raise awareness.

We’ve found that if you come from an environment of abuse, it becomes almost like normalized behavior, and you don’t look at yourself as being a victim which was similar to Joe’s experience. It’s not only physical abuse, but we focus on verbal, mental, emotional and now even cyber abuse one on one with these kids.

Given the success and the growth of the organization since its inception, what do you feel is the greatest accomplishment of the Safe at Home Foundation to date?

Joe: There was a young man who wandered into Margaret’s Place to see what it was all about. He ended up getting involved in the program, and we later found out that at the time he was considering joining a gang. Through the intervention of Margaret’s Place, however, he ended up pursuing a college degree rather than joining that gang.

Ali: Recently we were in California at our newest Margaret’s Place, and a young woman came up to me and asked if I remembered her. It turns out she was a peer leader at one of our other schools and she told me how she had graduated high school and had been accepted to UCLA and it was all thanks to one of our Counselors and Margaret’s Place. The young lady had a history of sexual assault and gang violence, and to see her standing there after getting through those tragedies was awe inspiring to me.

Tell us about the dynamic duo of husband and wife tackling this issue together?

Joe: It’s a matter of mutual respect for each other’s opinions and never thinking you know all the answers. For me, because I’m someone people recognize, I began setting up speaking engagements and initially I got a lot of attention. People would come up to me afterward and say that it made a difference to have a man talking about a subject that was usually thought of as a women’s issue. People don’t realize how many different forms of abuse there are and that you don’t have to be black and blue to have been affected by violence. Ali is the nuts and bolts of the Foundation and more hands on.

Ali: What’s been most rewarding and humbling to me is how many friends and people have come along this journey with us and are so dedicated to helping us. So many organizations have given up their time and money and enabled us to move in a really strong direction. We still have a long way to go, and that’s why we’re still at it. We’re going to continue moving forward and would love for other people to join us in our efforts.

Given your tremendous ties to New York through the foundation, baseball, living here, etc. what in your opinion separates New York from the rest of the country?

Ali: It’s such a large city, but there’s such a sense of community here. People looking in from the outside don’t understand that. I’m originally from the Midwest but now living here there’s such a sense of pride and an overwhelming spirit of generosity.

Juxtapose baseball and the Foundation, do any ideals or values carry over from one to the other?

Joe: Before the Yankees, I managed three other teams, and I’ve always had a connection with the players. I believe it’s made me a little more sensitive and aware. To me, managing is all about people, and you should never lose sight of that. I didn’t realize until I stopped managing that several of the guys looked at me almost like a father figure, and I truly did care about each and every one of them. I’d say that care of people and sensitivity is something that carried over into the foundation and vice versa.

You’ve accomplished so much, what’s next?

Ali: We’re interested in expanding into Staten Island, New York, as well as many other locations we feel could benefit from our program. Long term, our goal is to be in as many schools and cities as possible, because we think that it is necessary, but right now we simply don’t have the resources. We host three fundraisers a year and also have our annual appeal where people can donate, and all of the funding is put to good use. Long term, we need to be strategic about partnerships and funding so that we can continue to expand Margaret’s Place.

Sound Off! Tell Our readers something that they haven’t heard or read anywhere else?

Joe: I think I’ve gotten addicted to Netflix. I travel a lot, and there are so many nights I don’t even turn on the television but rather watch old movies or TV Shows. I’m also trying to get back into golf, but I’m not sure if I want anyone to know that because it’s an ugly visual right now.

Ali: I’ve told Joe that if he doesn’t get better at golf, then we’re going to take ballroom dancing lessons, so he’s been trying to get better every day! Personally, something most people don’t know about me is that I am the 9th of 16 children.

Joe: I’ll tell you, that when we first met, the scrutiny of her nine brothers wasn’t easy to get through!