MANNERS FOR OUR TIMES

Doing The Right Thing Counts

By Lillian Langtry

Let’s admit it, we slip up occasionally. Perhaps we don’t respond to e-mails in a timely manner. Or, we swear under our breath from time to time. But we’re doing OK, right? Do we need to worry about correct behavior? The polite answer is “Yes!”

With all of the noise around us ranging from social media channels and 24/7 news, it is little wonder that etiquette on occasion has been put into a second, third, or last place in our society. Child psychologists are already grappling with the idea that virtual assistants such as Google, Siri, and Alexa will respond to commands without requiring a “please” or “thank you.” Will this generation struggle even more with understanding the subtle niceties of polite discourse?

Although times change, some of the fundamentals of good manners and etiquette do not. Here are three golden rules for timeless good behavior that are worth remembering to enjoy the new roaring twenties. Proper individual etiquette has an enduring role at the more significant level of society. After all, if we were to all practice good manners, wouldn’t the world be a more beautiful place?

TREAT OTHER WITH RESPECT
One of the purest, forms of doing right in terms of displaying good manners is to treat others with respect. Regardless of work or perceived position or wealth and power, properly interacting with others sends a powerful signal and also reinforces in yourself the importance of doing things right. It is an old aphorism but treating people on the way up as you would wish to be treated on the way down is a touchstone for developing good manners—think of etiquette like a muscle in the human body—it too needs a workout to maintain strength and conditioning.

TECHNOLOGY HAS ITS PLACE
Living in a high-tech world can be incredible. However, knowing when to use it—and more importantly, when not to—is essential to avoid missing out on developing good relationships. In just 25 years, nearly everyone now owns a cell phone. A large percentage of those users have Smartphones which add the power of the Internet. Personal safety, as well as displaying consideration for others, are the watchwords for using technology.

Reading/texting at a dinner table, during a meeting, or social gathering could imply that the user is uninterested in those they are with or value others on the other end of the phone a lot more. And need we even mention that using a cell phone while walking/driving is medically proven to be a distraction that can have disastrous consequences.

TAKE YOUR TIME
In our world today, we often feel that we have no time, which can be translated into short, infrequent interaction with those who do, could, and should be at the center of our lives. Making time to be polite with others is as vital as the 30-second phone call or shout-out as you jump into the car/train/subway/office.

Making time also implies not just broadcasting to those around you but listening. Listening leads to be a better understanding of how the other person thinks and enables you to develop a positive relationship through thoughtful communication. Try it, and you will be rewarded.

For more information on manners, read Manners That Matter Most (Hatherleigh Press) or visit hatherleighcommunity.com.