We recently met with highly acclaimed life and business coach, Andrea Beach, a leading authority on human behavior. She combines the best of a business leader and entrepreneur to deliver incredible results for companies and individuals. With this success, Beach has created dozens of successful programs for relationship transformation. Here’s what we learned about love and relationships.
As Valentine’s Day unfurls its romantic allure, there exists a subset of individuals whose aspirations extend beyond fleeting expressions of love. For those who cherish deep intimacy, seek long-lasting connections, and bask in the glow of an elevated lifestyle, Valentine’s Day is not just a celebration but a canvas upon which the artistry of profound relationships is painted. If done right, with intentionality, celebrating this age-old holiday transcends mere romantic gestures and focuses instead on growing together into the future both partners want, and provides a vision and road map for enjoying the kind of love that withstands the tests of time.
INTIMACY BEATS SOCIAL MEDIA
We have all seen those perfectly curated Valentine’s Day posts subtly showing off or bragging about how great their partner did in making them feel special or what they’re doing that day. It is perfectly normal to feel envious and even sad or frustrated that you don’t have something equally as impressive to share
But I challenge that many of these posts only show the best, most prized moments, carefully leaving out the fighting, the feelings of loneliness one can experience inside a relationship, and all the disappointment and heartache not shown in those pictures and videos. Satisfaction in a love relationship comes not from showing the world how great you are together but from genuinely feeling that way daily when you are most honest with yourself.
Deep intimacy comes when partners feel seen, understood, and unconditionally loved. For couples like this, Valentine’s Day is not merely an annual ritual but a reminder to be fully present in the relationship and give it the same thoughtful planning and ongoing maintenance senior leadership would invest in a thriving business.
Often, wives put more effort into organizing and executing a school project for one of their children or planning a neighborhood event than their romantic relationship. Husbands may put more effort into planning a golf outing or fishing trip than focusing on and conducting thoughtful plans for their love life. Why do we do this? Behavioral science reveals that when we are comfortable, we get lazy. It goes against our natural tendencies to keep working, striving, and investing in something we feel we have arrived at. So, I challenge you this Valentine’s Day to recommit putting a detailed vision in place for the rest of your lives together and then taking daily steps toward the reality that we never fully arrive at.
BEYOND ROSES & CHOCOLATES
While flowers and candy may hold their charm, pursuing a deeply connected, fulfilling, and enjoyable relationship for the long term requires more than just these cultural expectations.
Actively transform the holiday by focusing less on material gifts and more on expressions of love through shared experiences and meaningful moments. Schedule time for a couple’s spa day together or try a new adventure, like a cooking class or salsa dance lessons. Creating these shared experiences will bring you closer together today and pay dividends over your lifetime in the stories you share and memories you fondly reflect on.
A RITUAL OF REFLECTION
Make Valentine’s Day a time for recalibrating the relationship and reflecting on what has worked well and the things that were challenging in the last year. Be intentional about navigating those challenges and giving each other freedom and a haven for sharing vulnerable thoughts and feelings. From sunset strolls with deep conversations to handwritten letters expressing appreciation, try sharing reflective thoughts on the past year and innovative ideas for the future you look forward to creating together. These are powerful ways to show your partner you are attuned to their needs and desires and are powerful ways to express and solidify your love.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, let us reimagine this celebration as more than a day of romantic gestures. For those who value deep intimacy and seek long-lasting love, it is an opportunity to reconnect, reflect, and plan together. This makes you a team and helps protect your relationship from outside forces, including the sneaky ones we often overlook, such as neglect, assumptions, and apathy. May this celebration remind you that love, nurtured with care and intention, can transcend the ordinary and become a masterpiece. In the pursuit of a deep and lasting love, let every Valentine’s Day serve as a brushstroke you both make on the canvas of a love story that transcends the ages.