The MINDIE Method

Mindie is available for in-person and virtual psychotherapy sessions via her Executive Health by Mindie Barnett Psychotherapy practice. Her expertise is in interpersonal relationships, overcoming depression, coping with anxiety and avoiding and overcoming burnout among many other wellness areas. Life coaching and career coaching are also areas she excels in. For more information or to schedule a session
visit mbexecutivehealth.com 

Dear Mindie, 

The holidays this year are especially difficult for me. I usually dread Thanksgiving and Christmas, since my father passed away during the holiday season a few years ago. But this year is even more difficult because I’ve been disconnected with my younger daughter.

The entire year has been hard since we stopped talking in the spring but not having her around for any of the holiday celebrations makes me feel incredibly down and hopeless things will ever get resolved. It’s not my doing.

I want a relationship with her and have told her this many times, but she keeps saying she wants space and time. There seems to be nothing I can do.  

Is there any advice you may be able to share?  

Sincerely,
Down and Out

Dear Down and Out,
I’m deeply sorry to hear about your circumstances. I am sure not having your daughter around during the holidays, in addition to the normal day-to-day, is very painful. Without knowing the reasons behind your relationship rupture, it’s difficult for me to offer any sound advice other than the mindset that you should focus on what brings your joy, who offers you support and who makes you feel safe and loved.

I’m not suggesting you forget about your daughter, but it seems as though you’ve shared that you want to reconnect, and she is asking for her space.

So, as hard as it may be, you need to honor her wishes and provide her with that space and hold onto the hope that when she is ready, she will return. 

In the meantime, focusing on yourself and those who are in your life fully now with your attention, thoughts, and time will safeguard you from slipping deeper into despair. If you don’t speak or see anyone on a regular basis, reach out to an old friend, connect with a family member you have fond feelings for and seek the support of a mental health expert who will be able to better work with you on reframing your negative thoughts and focus on setting up healthy daily goals to meet in order to establish a routine that is suited to provide safety and serenity during a time that sounds especially turbulent.

 

Wishing you lots of love andlight,

Mindi