Falling in Love

At a luxury spa, I just about always expect snow-hued linens in a treatment chamber. So, as I sauntered into a therapy room at the magnificent Fife Arms, nestled in the dramatic Highlands in Braemar, Scotland, I anticipated more of the same--an hour of indolent languor, swathed in calming white linen and blankets.

But as I entered the room, I stopped dead in my tracks: The cossetting covering of the massage table was an elegant tartan! Of course, it was: This is, after all, Scotland, and more notably, it is the glorious Fife Arms, where every detail of the property is fussed over. Thus, the tartan blanket proudly boasts a made-to-order plaid by the well-known Scottish designer Araminta Campbell. (And not to go unnoticed, all the toiletries and treatment products, dubbed Albamhor—an exclusive scent, encapsulating the Highlands, with notes of myrtle, bell heather, thyme, and juniper—are also custom-made for the inn.)

If you love the fabric’s saturated loden, sly shots of lemony-yellow, and discreet, staccato filaments of maroonish-cinnabar, then you’ll be happy to know that you can purchase, in the enticing gift shop, a hot water bottle, a bow tie, a hip flask, and a charming stuffed hare, which are all tricked out in that handsome tartan; they are among the many other gracefully designed and crafted merchandise offerings, including a hefty Fife Arms coffee table book. Campbell created a Fife Arms weave, inspired by the Scottish pines and mossy forest floor, accented by yellow gorse, and the iron-oxide red of the hotel’s exterior—all combined with a sett or pattern that is loosely based on the Duke of Fife’s tartan. Et voilá!

Almost everything about The Fife Arms will give pause. No two of the 46 charming rooms are alike. But each is chockablock with art, crafts, decorative arts, and surprises—tartan and otherwise—of all sorts, as are the public rooms. In fact, there are 16,000 sundry pieces of art on the premises; there is so much art to discover, that there is a daily art tour! You’ll find a Picasso, Man Ray, Bourgeois, or Freud masterpiece alongside a work by a local well-known artist, or a not-so-well-known artist. There are prints, exquisite furniture, militaria, sporrans, archaeological treasures, contemporary art, chandeliers (one is neon and announces in script that it is a chandelier, one is constructed from kitchen implements and naked electric bulbs), and even ancient maps of the area: Don’t be surprised to read these wall-size maps and find appellations like Cnocan Mòr (translated as “Big Knockie”) and An-t-Sròn (“The Snout”). There is even a baby grand piano (self-playing, like an old-fashioned player piano), awash in patches of gilding

Whatever room becomes yours, know that you are in for a visual smorgasbord. There are suites dedicated to Victoriana, Scottish culture, nature and poetry, and…on and on. My room was in the Scottish Culture wing and was named for John Von Lamont, geophysicist, who lived near Braemar. There was even a hand-crocheted solar system dangling from the ceiling, apothecary jars in the bath (“Sirup Cinnamon,” anyone?), and, of course, there was chocolate fudge from a local shop, house-made shortbread, and two elegant crystal flasks, proffering proprietary, property-blended scotch and gin, accompanied by the “suggestion” that I help myself. The ubiquitous signal for housekeeping to change/not change the sheets was a petite, wooly, stuffed birdie-toy. Everything about the guest rooms is simply p-e-r-f-e-c-t.

All this splendor is courtesy of visionaries—and not incidentally, art dealers—Manuela and Iwan Wirth, of the renowned gallery Hauser & Wirth, based in Switzerland, but with outposts in the States, England, Spain, Monaco, France, and Hong Kong. Some seven years ago, they “found” a kind of ramshackle property in Braemar, not too far from Balmoral, and had a vision—a reimagined 19th-century coaching inn. Time-travel to today, and The Fife Arms is a go-to destination for travelers the world over. Every room is a surprise—paisley here, brocade there, tartans everywhere; oriental carpets, luscious damasks, flocked velvets, felted wools, mohair throws; overstuffed armchairs, beckoning hassocks, seductive divans.

You’ll not want for things to do here, either. Down a labyrinthine corridor is Bertie’s Whisky Bar, named for Queen Victoria’s eldest and beloved son, Edward VII, Bertie to us all. Indulge in the most splendid scotch-tasting here, surrounded by some 500 bottles of whiskies. You’ll sample a quartet and each wee dram of uisge Beatha—the “water of life”—will transport you. I felt as if I were in a whisky library, with mostly single malts. It was the most tasty, electrifying, and educational tasting I’ve ever done.

You can tour the Royal Lochnagar Distillery, a mere 15 minutes away, or arrange for a more grandiose distillery tour with one of the hotel’s ghillies, or tour and activity organizers/guides. Think clay-pigeon shooting, e-biking, guided hikes, off-road Land Rover excursions, a Scottish history tour, a trip to Balmoral, foraging, fly fishing, tennis, golf, a dip in a stream in the Cairngorms, or a Highlands picnic. If shopping is on your brain, ask about a day trip to the House of Bruar, a kind of sophisticated retail outpost, featuring many buildings around a central courtyard, where you can buy Bruar’s legendary cashmeres, as well as foul-weather gear for Scotland’s ever-changing climates, and then all else you might need for a newborn, or for fly fishing, or for cooking...or for anything. It’s a retail spectacle.

As for dining, well, you have wonderful choices within the hotel, including the cozy Fondue Hut, overlooking a magical courtyard. Red-and-white checkered coverings adorn each table and every seat is swatched in a fluffy, white sheepskin. (A touch of the Wirths’ Switzerland roots.) The Clunie Dining room is the main showcase and it’s just delightful—wood-fire cooking, sealing in rich flavors from the freshest, local Scottish produce. The Flying Stag is a welcoming lunch spot (locals flock to it) and you’ll marvel at the hundred-plus antlers hanging above the bar. For an intimate cocktail, head to Elsa’s, named for La Schiaparelli; so, not surprisingly, there are shocking pink, neon lights flanking the bar. For off-premises dining, a local favorite is Fish Shop, barely a half-hour away in Ballater, where tempting seafood reigns.

Once you’ve luxuriated in the casual grace of The Fife Arms, you’ll want to return…and as they say on that side of The Pond: Haste ye back.

Additional info: thefifearms.com All photos courtesy of The Fife Arms